Archive for June, 2008

Take me to your leader…Oh wait, I am your leader

Posted in Blogs, Pictures on June 25, 2008 by Brody

The Office just happens to be one of my all-time favourite shows. Word on the street (where I spend most of my time) is that Steve Carell has signed a contract with NBC for another three seasons as Dunder-Mifflin’s Regional Manager, Michael Scott. Is this good news? Abso-Fruitly!

Michael Scott

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Wednesday Morning Music – Teasing has come a long way since then

Posted in Videos on June 25, 2008 by Brody

“Top 10 reasons Food is Better than Sex

Posted in Jokes on June 25, 2008 by Andy

10. Buying food isn’t against the law.

9. Having lunch with a co-worker won’t cause a scandal.

8. If the food was lousy you don’t have to lie to the chef.

7. You can have different dishes every day.

6. The food won’t complain if you’re not hungry.

5. You can eat every day of the month.

4. Eating alone is just as fulfilling as eating with a friend.

3. Normal folks can live without sex for long periods.

2. The only protection you need is a napkin.

1. You don’t get blisters from cooking your own food too often.”

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/92q2/foodsex.html

George Carlin (1937-2008)

Posted in Videos on June 24, 2008 by Brody

One of my favourite clips

 

Over Served???

Posted in Blogs, Pictures on June 24, 2008 by Andy

“It is not my fault that I puked all over the bathroom floor of that bar, I was over served by the bartender!”, says an increasing number of bar patrons.

I can sit there and drink and drink alcohol until I can’t even walk, and it’s not my fault. The bartender continued to give it to me.

People are now holding bars responsible for the following:

– Alcohol Poisoning/ Driving while intoxicated (heaven forbid – hurting someone)/ fighting/ and of course the most popular – taking home someone that is less than attractive.

All I have to say is… GIVE ME A BREAK! You consumed the liquor, you drove the car into a telephone pole, you picked that ugly guy or gal up/ and you picked a fight with someone 2 feet taller and 50 pounds heavier.

I don’t think that it is the job of a bartender earning minimum wage + tips to make sure your not acting like an idiot. Its your responsibility to know that you are an idiot!

I am a person who is known to enjoy the occasional beverage, and I’ll I know is one thing…I don’t fight/ I don’t puke on the bathroom floor (all the time)/ I don’t drink and drive /and I know that my significant other is a nice looking gal.

So the point of this…. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KNOW WHEN YOU ARE OVER SERVED.

The Most Incredible Day

Posted in Blogs on June 24, 2008 by Brody

It was Sunday. I woke up at 8am, quite early for the weekend, but for some reason I was not fatigued in the least. I let Amanda continue to sleep and decided to go for a walk. It was cool outside, as it has been recently due to the City’s onslaught of intense thundershowers, no doubt caused by Al Gore.

Our neighbourhood is mostly upper middle class with some low-income housing peppered throughout. I walked through one of the more affluent streets and noticed that the stepford wives yard sales were just getting into full swing. This is the best kind of yard sale, as it is typically run by a middle age former trophy wife with no concept of the true value of something. As I came to the corner, I noticed an old lady sitting patiently by herself in front of a table filled with knick-knacks. I felt a little bad for her so I stopped to have a look. She was very sweet, and before I knew it I had purchased $10 worth of tea-cloths. I was about to take my buyer’s remorse and leave, when she said to me, “Do you like cars young man?”. “Sure, I guess.” I replied. “Come with me. My husband, may he rest in peace, had this god-forsaken jalopy that I swear he loved more than me, and I would like nothing more than to get rid of it. It’s very old, but I think it still works. If you would give me $20 for it, I’d even throw in a few more of those tea-cloths you like so much.” She opened the garage door and my jaw dropped. I was staring at a 1963 Jaguar XKE Roadster.

With my new car and a passenger seat full of tea-cloths, I drove back towards the condo. I was a little too excited about my new purchase so it took me a while to notice the flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and watched as the officer took his time strolling up to my window. “What year is this?” He asked enthusiastically, to which I replied. “63, I believe.” He began to tell me about his love for classic cars, especially Jags, and confessed that he only pulled me over so he could look at it closer. “I don’t suppose you’d mind… could I take it for a spin?”. I thought for a moment and said, “Well, only if you allow me to follow behind you in the cruiser.” “I could get in a lot of trouble for that… but this is a dream of mine… ok, but stay close and no sirens.”

We pulled out from the quiet neighbourhood and took the onramp to the 401. Traffic was beginning to get heavy, and I was having trouble keeping track of the over zealous officer. As the last of the tea-cloths blew past my window, I realized that I had indeed lost him. Before I could reach the next exit, the radio inside the police car came to life “Attention all units, we’ve have a robbery at Royal Bank at Bayview and York Mills, the perpetrators have escaped and are reportedly heading westbound driving a black Dodge Durango. All units please advise on your position.” Wait a minute… I just came from Bayview and York Mills… I’m heading westbound. I looked in the mirror and saw a black SUV swerving erratically and knew exactly what I had to do. I moved over to the shoulder and braked hard, allowing the perp to pass me on the left. I flicked the siren on and gunned the engine. I looked down at the speedometer as I approached the back of the SUV ; it read 210. I knew this had to end quickly, so I positioned myself beside the SUV’s back corner and put the pedal to the floor. In a flash, the SUV turned from soccer-mom shuttle to a rolling pile of metal reminiscent of a formula one crash.

Luckily no one was hurt but the robbers. I was detained for a while at the police station where I had to fill out an enormous amount of paper work. It was decided that it would be best for all parties if this whole issue was kept under wraps, so we shook hands and parted ways. They let me keep the Jag, but I decided it would be wrong of me to defraud an old lady like that, so I posted it on ebay, will all the proceeds going to her.

It was late evening when I finally got home. “Where were you all day?” Amanda asked. “I was worried sick! You’d better have some amazing story to tell me…” I smiled, “It’s funny you should say that…”

 

Actually we spent the whole day trying to organize our closets, but that makes for a much less interesting story.

Just another Monday

Posted in Blogs on June 23, 2008 by Andy

It is Monday morning here in good old eastern Canada.  And I woke up this morning at 4:30am!  I feel asleep for a half hour just before the alarm went off and now I am sitting here at work.

I call this a Monday at it’s best.

Well, what can I talk about for news, gas prices are high as hell!  I guess that is interesting right???

Yeah I didn’t think so.

Well I guess I am just going to leave you alone.  I had to write a post though.  It’s just Monday and very hard to think of anything good to say.